Autumn Grunge

This is for the Rust challenge at the Digital Whisper blog.  Rust texture set by Yaensart at deviantArt.  Autumn background by Sveva at Renderosity.  Flying leaves by Zememz at deviantArt.
Plants and fairy were rendered by me in Daz Studio 4.6.

Thanks for looking!

Everything changes

For the past 7 years I've worked from home doing data verify and entry for a company. It was a good job, allowed me to be home for my kids when they were growing up and paid well.  I live in a small town quite a distance from the main office, so when they notified all of us that they will be phasing out their at home contractors by the end of the year, I had to make a change.  I found a job only a mile away from my home working in an office. My children are all grown, my youngest has moved to Minneapolis and is in college, and as much as I enjoyed working in my jammies, it was time to move on. I was really stressed about driving into work at my previous employer at such a distance in the winter, but now that worry has been removed as my commute time is only 3 minutes (maybe 15 on a terribly snowy day).  

This decision to work outside the home has been met with mixed thoughts from family. My children and husband are excited for me, my in-laws who live in Minnesota as well are happy for me, but my family in California (mom, sister, brother), are not happy for me.  This is normal for me, I've always been judged by my family, everything I do is never the "right" thing.  When we moved from California to Minnesota 13 years ago, they were unhappy and made rude comments. When I grow my hair long, they hate it. When I cut my hair short, they think I'd look better with it a little longer.  "Too much makeup", "Not enough makeup", "Too fat", "Too skinny"...I just can't win with them. When my middle child went into the Marines they made comments and asked me why I didn't stop him.  Like I have a say in what my 21 year old son does with his life.  The only person who has never been judgmental with me is my Dad.  He's always been my biggest supporter, and even when he doesn't agree with a decision I'm making, he supports me. If not for my Dad, I don't know where I'd be today.

The above collage captures how I feel most of the time about (most of) my family. I often wonder when, or if, this will change.  It's funny, even though my family's opinion of me doesn't bother me as much as it used to, it still hurts a little. But this life of mine is exactly that...Mine.  I love my family, but I can't let their opinion of me hurt me anymore. I guess I've finally come to the realization that this is their problem, not mine.  I'll always love them, and I know in their own weird way, they love me as well.

Summer's End

A poem I wrote a few years ago.